What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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