guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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