I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think my moral compass just broke
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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