I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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