I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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