i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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