I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
