I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
