I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
