it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
