and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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