so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize