Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
