my soul wont recognize me after tonight
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
