she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
