I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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