he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
