But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize