Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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