so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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