strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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