More tranny stories later!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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