It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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