You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
