Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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