I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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