They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
