I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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