He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
