38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
