I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
