just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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