Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
