Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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