its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
