His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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