Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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