I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
