If that was your dad, he is hot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bring me that man meat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize