How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize