Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
