So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
