Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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