Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
