If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
