marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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