and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
