i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize