My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize