so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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