yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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