So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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