im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
