Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
