I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
