Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bring me that man meat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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