She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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