Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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