I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
