what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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