I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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