he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He has the fingertips of a God
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