remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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