what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
