You work out of a Hotel?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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