how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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