why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
