Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
