On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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