I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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