I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
