I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
